LETTER #110 - The big promise
Heart and Mind question. Centre. ASM.
Plato
Big Promise
MV3
The Moment Video (mind or heart)
My thesis on Enlightenment in romantic language. ASM . Centre
Plato. Big Promise
“It’s Ready!” Baby Driver. Leads to Magician. Everything I have wanted to say.
X Centredness. ASM. Mind or Heart. Feeling. Connection to Truth. True Nature
Out of Matrix.
Baby,
You asked me if I was more of a man of my mind or the heart. For the longest time, I didn't know how to answer you.
I think I am ready to answer that question now.
Everything I have always wanted to share with you. All the wonders in knowledge and truths. All the beauty in what is good. Somehow, and with the help of many voices and hands, I managed to put EVERYTHING I have wanted to share with you in this shoebox. This is me. The stuff that makes me me.
By the grace of miracles small and big, the videos and these letters manage to bring out a piece of me from the core. The feeling you feel in the videos is exactly the feeling I feel when I watch them. I have probably watched and rewatched these cuts hundreds of times. Every single time my heart races and I get absorbed into the flow. The song and dance, as if written just for us, the perfect companion music to the slideshow of our life. Every time feels like I am watching it the first time. Only to want to watch it a million more times...
If I think to myself what achievement I have made of my life that I am proud of; it is that I have expressed all that I am inside in these words, in these notes. The confluence seems to come together to help us celebrate. I xxxxxxxxxxxxx Invisble red thread that tie our paths together, by love, by the beauty in truth, by a soul-filled passion for life and everything good and beautiful about it. This is certainly the most satisfying feeling. To be able to express fully the person I am, to the love of my life.
Baby, this is the very best gift I have for you. It is really a piece of me, a me who will always be.
In a circular way, this is also the best gift I receive from you. Without you, I will never have seen any of these sweet, sweet miracles. Synchronicities that spell a destiny written into the heavens. Its meant to be, and I have no choice but surrender to the beauty and magic of it all.
Thesis on Enlightenment in ROMANTIC LANGUAGE. DeSCRBE WHAT IT FEELS. ASM
**Are you in a pink mood. the video that led me here. I was scrolling through this for final touch. I was not
Every word, every bit of what it feels like inside me… the feeling I imagined myself having in Danny Boyle’s other great film Slumdog millionaire. when every piece of the puzzle falls together in one picture. One that completely makes sense. That magical moment of seeing the miracle of life. The feeling of fullness. That moment when we feel in ASM. When we are so centred and still that we no longer feel ourselves shaking around our core. Our connection to everything else. Our true nature.
Every thing that I picked up along the way for all these years all come together. Every word I have wanted to say to you, every corner of my what it feels inside and what it means to me is captured in this moment. 02/03 0900. (Magician, Moment Life in Picture video)
Every puzzle pieces fit together. The picture. That bigger picture. I see it now. That moment when seeing the picture, when that knowing smile comes to the face.
This is the moment I truly believe in the magic. That feeling is captured here. I thought it was impossible. This is my miracle.
The feeling we feel when in ASM. The tear that rolls down. You know that feeling fills your entire being - mind boy and spirit.
The way it feels when you fall into bed. With you at my side.
That kind of embrace (link to BF)
And so here it is. My mind and its every word. And my heart with all that it feels inside… is here. My answer to your question now. I am at this very moment (link to Life in Pictures video) (Moment, L110 Magician)
The time I am taking to see this magic, to understand their true meaning is getting shorter. I can feel myself surrendering to their transcendence more easily, more readily. I feel that subtle but loud feeling of super fine, high frequency oscillation around the very centre. Almost like a high pitch sound inside the mind. And then all of a sudden it reaches the centre and dead silence. A silence of such completeness that it feels full. The feeling that everything is in its right place.
It’s without words… beyond remembering. It’s inside so deep it’s part of me.
The synchronicity of having everything coming together at the right time in the right place. The moment it describes in the video that led me here. It’s ready. My best answer to all of your deep, soul-searching questions.
Where everything comes together for me. It is the ultimate miracle in my life. My miracle. I am so, so happy I see you by my side. As if you have never left.
This point is where we know to meet. We both have seen it. We both know it. We both feel it. We live it. We will never be lost from each other.
Ascension. Elevation poem MV0
The Moment. Vargo with K for me. Ask her question. I am answering your question with this. It is something I made for myself. This is what I see in my mind’s eye and how I feel in my heart. Which of a man do you think I am?
(Jan 5 2022 10:00am)
I have got to tell you something.
I just came out of a deep ASM. I want to tell you what I saw.
When and only when we deeply relax into the flow that we see our place in it. it is also exactly going with it that life gains meaning. A kind of ultimate meaning, for it is the summations of “the lessons” in every single experience and relationship. Only by being immersed in it and feel its support that our sense of trust returns to us in this upside-down world. They are so because you can feel it deep inside that your own bag of lessons are exactly what you need. Baby, in our quest for the ultimate, this is the closest I am able to come. But I think we are pretty close. I can feel its “warmth” from something that is eternally true. Real. Truth.
You know how it feels to be at the centre in ASM. Its lightness is unmistakable and sometimes a bit too comfortable. The peace and quiet calms that lake of our mind to let us make out what the ripples are all about.
What keeps us from it, the blockages, the soft spots, buttons that whenever get pushed would box us into mindless reactions and loops without fail; these are the walls that shape our souls. The shapes of our souls match us to exactly the life we need to overcome the blockages we have inside. And when these blockages are removed and we return to our original, pristine state; you will find that real “you” - the person we once were but have forgotten. When we remember who we are, worlds and lifetimes converge into the only desire xxxxxxx underneath all desires. The ultimate reason we have for living, the Meaning of meanings. To be whole. Again.
Pain is the thing that lets us see the locations of resistance we have inside that are keeping us from the flow. Looked at it this way, suffering is an agent of help to help us open our eyes to a better, and eventually the best you. The Higher Self. The original, real you. Pains are now little flags (or clues) pointing their way to exactly where we need work. Relationships with people make the perfect case as each of our relationships mirror back our dreams, our fears, our lament, our aspirations. The one single common denominator is they are about the exacting ways we are connected to one other and everything else within the Field. All things are at base energy. The frequencies given off by physical laws must attract its like. Yes, I said Like attracts like. The whole thing about opposites attract is only one of two plausible perspectives. Yes, magnets. Yet, there is another way the universe can come to equilibrium. I will get into that a bit later and first let me tell you something about the curious nature of our universe. I say this because they are now starting to say, in the almighty religious language of science today that it is looking more and more like a simulation. Or a projection hologram image of something else that is real. Like Plato’s cave allegory, the reality in the minds of the prisoners is mere puppet show on the wall. And of course, Buddha even longer ago than Plato. It is deep knowledge from the very old of time.
Pain puts up walls that bind our consciousness. Every time we come to hurt, we pull back and calcify in its grip. So many of these hurts are so ancient we have forgotten how we got them. But their grip remains in place. Only by breaking down these walls can our awareness opens up to wider, higher, deeper, encompassing perspective. And what is so beautifully magical about life is that we need do nothing more than putting our total trust in flow and relax into it. As we shed these hardened shells, our spirit self returns to its original pristine state of oneness with everything around us. It is both a spiritual and a scientific law. As an old letter threw a romantic spin to it: as we fall, we learn to fly.
The thing with the universe is its inherent fractal design. Patterns. Geometry that shows through in every corner of the universe. From galactic swirls to nautilus shells, as above so below. There is a beauty to it all that is hard-wired into us for we are essentially made of the same thing. This is why there is built in a mechanism to bring the parts into unison. Each and every thing, sentient or not, at its base form is this energy. Maybe this is the reason we are inexplicably and irresistibly drawn to its beauty. Nature in fractal. The shapes that connect us to the heavens and all its glory are in fact highways to eternity. They run throughout Existence to every corner from top to bottom, the human heart to computer algorithms in A.I. Beauty in the elegant fractal equation that underpins xxxxxxx (Z=Z2+c) is reflected in the majesty before our eyes. We resonate to it because the same essence is also inside us.
The closer we come to Centre, the more magical and beautiful things become. The way our eyes see opens up to a kind of clarity that is accompanied with lightness. In this lightness is rich with wisdom we gain along the way in our journey. Baby, this boat ride we are taking will sail through kingdoms and eras, xxxxxxxxxxx
it is true as a scientific verifiable fact that magnets work in this way, and we see much human relationships also take on this property. People fight because - in energetic term - the two frequencies are equilibrating. They are finding a balance point at which they can come to flow. But all too often, the process is wrought with resistance. Pain is this energetic resistance expressed in physical symptoms as well as the challenges in our relationships. The kicker is the pains are there because I keep them there. I know the Lightness but I still snap back to my shell when I come out.
Like attracts like is something I want to tell you about here. I am listening to this and borrowing Bryan Ferry’s voice to convey what I cannot write down in words. Baby, feel what I have to say. Keep this feeling close to your heart, I will tell you what it’s for later.
Like attracts like through resonance. Think of music, real music (Cloud Atlas) composed with knowledge of this resonance and with the feeling of love and wonder. You are instantly transported into the soul world of the composer. At this time, you feel what he feels, you hear the music not with your ears but with every fibre of your being. Even your soul is moved. Music has that power. To move us. Reprogram us. Upgrade us. You remember Emoto (Crystal) demonstrated to us the tuning forks. Music resonates “up”; the lower tone will match the vibrations of the its higher octave counterpart. Baby, I find myself drawn to you in exactly the same way. I can’t see it but I can feel it.
What you seek is seeking you.
Unlike the case for opposites on a plane; they cancel each other out to find equilibrium - on a flat plane. Baby, where we are going next is another plane altogether. Resonance to something larger than us must and will bring us UP, from this plane to a higher plane.
As 4s, we are searchers for meaning. Big Meaning. And this is what I have for an answer. My answer.
The Field is an ocean - infinite versions of lifetimes, taking place simultaneously in every drop - each of these infinite possibilities is the reality of the person in it. It feels totally real. But we know the Field is what gives it its reality. All of the infinite possibilities their reality. The Reality of realities… The notion of One in All and All in One comes to mind here. It is a place where paradoxes meet. The wormhole that bends spacetime.
This Resonance is home. When we are in touch with this feeling we want the same thing for others. So this resonance gets more XXXXX. Meaning in Life comes from living in alignment to something larger than us. Something that can complete our sense of lack, our fragmented, limited self. We know this because this is once our natural being.
Baby, in this lifetime the closest I will take you flying is this (Alive).
Baby, et me tell you where I am taking you next. By this resonance we will navigate this ocean together. Be it high seas come rain, snow or storm (MV0) we will never be lost from one another. The connection is never broken. Forever entangled. And with it, as birds we fly from plane to plane through the infinite wonders.
I feel overcome by the Moment as Everything (Everything) in my life converge on this one point. And you are at the centre of it. The dreams, the shadows, the people, all that happened to me even to the stories I learned at school, everything that has ever given me joy, sorrow, sadness, hope, everything of meaning to me. Everything that has shaped me. And there you are. At the centre of it. Without you, I will never see this.
(ABOUT THE SONG)
(First, the same ritual. Let’s tune our minds. I am listening to this as I am writing you. Pick me up here. (The Moment VargoK))
( Listen when quiet. 3 times. Focus on either ear first. Then the other one. And a last time open both ears up and immerse in the song. This is a rough cut by MaestroKeyvani (as I typed this, I almost broke down when it hit me! KEYvani. photos), the song of course from Vargo. Their lyrics are deep and still. These people do it for the love of it, out of pure love. You can hear their souls. And their connection in the words and the guitars. There is no better song. )
A word about the song. It’s a rough cut by Keyvani (*KEY) jamming to Vargo’s Moment. I know no better song to convey all that is inside I have for you. All those thoughts, memories rich with emotions and bittersweet reflections - every thing that makes me feel alive. Beyond words, the guitars make magnificent metaphors for the person split inside me. Between rationality and faith, I never quite found my ground. For as long as I can remember, I swung. from one end to the other.
I ask you to listen to it 3 times. So you can get into the both ends of my mind. Between the 2 sides, through the ups and downs, there is always a beat the song comes back to. Its heartbeat. It goes on. xxxxx
(End with this)
Remember when we first dated, you asked me if I was a person of the mind or of the heart? I wasn't sure how to answer that then. Looking back that was a real good question, it hit me right in the bullseye. I took it to heart and now I want to give you my answer. With the help of a song.
Mind vs Heart
Here is a copy I made for myself.
Do you think I am more mind or more heart?
(Moment Vargo K)
Baby, remember you asked about Plato in our game? The question you had never left my mind, probably because I wasn’t sure. But now, I can see that he was right. Love does possess the power to vanquish death.
I will find you with a book in your hand in the next next life. I promise.
———————
Baby, I just had an ASM tear. You know the kind that rolls down not in a stream like tears of sadness; it rolls down slowly, deliberately letting you feel its track across your face moment by moment. The appreciation and the sense of gratitude is like the biggest bed of pillows. You are deep into it for you no longer fight. You don’t because you now see there is no need to. The preciousness of that feeling. The feeling when you fall deeply into life and only when you do so, you completely engage into the wonders it brings - good or bad only in our little minds. Our eyes start to open to another kind of light for seeing. Now, resistance is understood as markers of our location within the quantum field. They function as a mechanism for navigating in space and time. We all locate ourselves here in this time because of choices we don’t understand, because of pains we haven’t worked through, because of resistance we still harbour in our deepest energetic self that keeps us from the Flow. Looked at it in this way, they work by the mechanism of choice. You know how at blissful peace it feels when you work your way to the centre in ASM… Why let your body and mind contort back to the way they were/are when off-centered? Your soul wouldn’t have it any other way. Right? So pains are really the choices we made to locate our consciousness here and now in this space at this time. I suppose the trick is to be quiet enough to see and feel its Existence. I use the big E because in my mind it is the proverbial Source. I can feel it outside of me - something, somewhere which I have to find and make my way to. And when quiet and in the flow enough, I feel it inside me, when I feel the connection of what’s outside and what’s inside; it is like two bodies of water converging into one by the contact of two droplets. Slow, deliberate, vibrant with movement. Yet you experience it frame by frame, in touch with it and feeling that lightness as resistance is melted away by the joining. Love feels the same way. You fall into it when you give of all of yourself. I wrote the capital E because it is something that connects me - my body, mind and soul - to Everything out there. The Flow is Existence itself. All.
The “me” I feel when this happens is not the me you see everyday. Although I am working it through, I still harbour my bag of resistance. it
When we are in this lightness, things take on a different perspective. The weight of “importance” drops off to reveal what is truly meaningful. And baby, you and I know Meaning is what we live for.
Baby, I can sense this energy all around. Even as I write, the bluetooth cuts in and out. Maybe its low on battery, maybe another synchronicity.
Speaking of synchronicity.. 2022/1/5 11:08
Speaker in an empty stadium. MV5!
Even though my words are failing miserably, I know you know what I am saying. Because you have felt it too. You know this feeling. This is our GPS. With it we are never lost from each other. And baby,
I am borrowing Bryan Ferry’s voice because his voice is probably what it would sound like. Half a century for a man is a long time, and he is still true to the same tune.
The Time has come. Let’s get dressed. (Believer)
BF
CAM
Peony
CAM
————————————
PART 1. X. Centeredness
Ascension
Elevation poem MV0
Reincarnation. It means there is another world. Where we are perfect - as twin flames are destined to be. For each other they will do anything for love. They will reshape their souls until they merge with one another without distance.
PART 2. The Flow. Wisdom
Alignment. Go through
Belief is alignment
Rational or Emotional.
In between is the flow. (MV5)
KEYvani
Sifu
Everything is connected. Slumdog millionaire
Baby,
Remember you asked me if I was a person of rationale or emotion? This was also around the turn of the new year. I remember because I have always wondered that about myself. This question of yours turns out to be the key into everything I am about to tell you. In this last letter. Taken me 2 years to write. I have probably enjoyed it a bit too much.
VIDEO MV5 (LIFE IN PICTURES)
The Moment K.
Listen when quiet. 3 times. Focus on either ear first. Then the other one. And a last time open both ears up and immerse in the song. This is a rough cut by MaestroKeyvani (as I typed this, I almost broke down when it hit me! KEYvani. photos), the song of course from Vargo. Their lyrics are deep and still. These people do what they do out of something pure. You can almost hear their souls.
Close your eyes to the world for now. Take yourself a moment. Just for yourself.
You have felt what it’s like to be so quiet you feel yourself dissolve into the world. There’s all of a sudden a fuzziness of the boundaries between me and not me. You know the feeling because the lightness, the weightlessness you feel at this time is not something that comes by every day. This feeling may be fleeting, elusive; but it is unmistakable. In its stillness you feel the shell, that armour we put on our souls. When we take it off, our soul is free.
(Stash page)
Alignment to the centre, drop away all shell, let our soul flow in the deep resonance all around us. Baby, somehow in some magical way, everything in my life comes into one single picture that makes complete sense. Everything that ever happened that brings me here right now. All the reasons and choices…. The emotions, the memories… What truly matters, and what are just stories we make for ourselves. It feels wonderfully amazing when you watch yourself in a “movie” like this. You enjoy it for what it is. You feel the twists and turns. Your heart and mind are taken up and down with the storyline with you in the main role. Your heart pounds as hers pounds, you imagine yourself to be her. Watching yourself like that is quite enjoyable.
(Rational)
And a realisation comes. If I could do that, there will be another me behind the me now. A higher me - who knows he’s the John watching me now. Ad infinitum until it reaches a point that the whole and the part make just one single thing. Inside this system, all is one and one is all. Everything originates from the Centre and inexorably converges into It. The proverbial Yin and Yang. The toroidal movement has in it aeons of lifetimes and stories. And their endings XXXXXXXX
Emotional)(Describe this feeling in visceral sensual terms. )
And what’s really exciting. When you are free and light like this, you fly anywhere you want. We are no longer bound by illusions and the energetic nets they keep us in. This feeling gives a good jolt and waking up to the
Seeing all of this is only possible. Because of you.
The Flow is there. And baby, as twins, we walk again. And again. (MV0)
____________
You asked me
Centre. In pictures (the story. Echo 110)
Last thought in is the first thought out. And from the one will unfold events
Remember you asked me if I was more rational or emotional? I didn’t know how to answer you. I jump from my head to my heart and back many times a day. I am never quite sure myself. I started paying attention to my thoughts.
What are these emotions that coloraturas my thoughts? And what are the fears that put a wall between xxxx.
When I am in my head I tell myself the world is the one I see before my eyes. Even though all in the universe will come to pass, matter recycle and lifetimes reincarnated. We can feel we are deep down energies lit up by thoughts, our vibrations brought down slow enough for us to make out their form, their shape, what the energetic essence or its spirit experienced to the senses. A universe can be made by the incredibly elegant equation Z=Z+c. In nerd land, elegant is the code word for beautiful. Something that not just arouse the intellect, but also a part of our souls that remember. A beauty so enveloping that it basks us fully as falling into the sun. A forever lightness. All is just me and this sensuous lightness. Its so bright and gentle to the eye the light feels palpable - like floating on the Dead Sea - warm, held.
The centre
Punches through a wormhole out of here.